Did Living in Edmonton Make Me a Better Person?
5 ways it absolutely did.
Each morning on 83rd Ave, in Edmonton, Alberta, before even drinking my coffee, I’d push open the balcony door and step outside on my tip toes to feel the winter air on my face.
I’d be greeted by a warm light cascading through the canopy-like ash trees, gracefully dancing off the snow creating tiny sparkles so perfect, you’d think it was fake.
Later, around sunset, I’d gaze to the right and see the light melting over the west side of the street. Somehow, the light, trees, and snow altogether made things orange. Warm, in the frigid winter.
The light in Edmonton is different. I don’t know how to describe it to you, but it is.
I found comfort in this habit of waking myself up to freezing temperatures. I grew to welcome the colder monthly fondly. Yes, I just said fondly and cold in the same sentence.
I’m as gobsmacked as you are. Trust me.
When I first moved to Edmonton, back in the fall of 2019, I was questioned:
“Wait — what?! You left Toronto?”
“Why did you come here?!”
“You know we have winter for 7 months of the year…right?!”
And these were things Edmontonians said to me, not Ontario folk. I recall feeling sad the first two months after moving, hearing this from locals. I thought: “if you’re so unhappy where you live — move, goddamnit!”
But thats the thing about me, I’ve never had trouble moving.
Purging my things one by one on Facebook marketplace, or leaving them by the dumpster for someone to find and (hopefully) use. Keeping long distance relationships with friends alive through texts and video chats. Obviously, it isn’t easy, but it’s doable and I’m decently practiced at it. I’ve now lived in Waterloo, Toronto, Ottawa, Québec City, London (England), Avignon (France), Los Angeles, Edmonton, and now Vancouver.
I recently left Edmonton on October 1st — and I’m here to sheepishly admit how much I miss that fucking town. Or perhaps, who I came to be there.
And all this for a place I talked a good amount of shit about (sorry & thank you to everyone who listened to me over the past few years hehe).
It’s kinda an Edmonton *thing* to have a love/hate relationship with the city. And I do, I guess. But right now, what’s on my mind is all the ways living in this place changed me as a person.
I think, for the better.
#1: I found community
I had a vision of a community-oriented life, where the simple things in life were prioritized — and that’s exactly what I got.
I left Toronto to rent a bedroom in my cousin’s 5-bedroom house because:
- I could
- it was easy, and
- he holds very similar values that center around food, togetherness, and friendship.
He’s not perfect, and I’m sure he would admit that living with him is not the easiest — yet, which of us is easy to live with?
Within days I was added to a group chat called “The weekly adventurers” which I wouldn’t dare ask to leave. I’ve never seen a group of adults more committed to spending time together. I bow my hat to them in respect.
Now, not everyone in this group is a close friend of mine today and that’s all fine and good. But to witness such a strong community (with all its flaws), and then to build my own, is something that felt sticky in Toronto. Pretty consistently. Perhaps this is part of being in my 30s, or perhaps it really is a “small town thing”.
One reason I delayed leaving Edmonton as long as I did was the routine of biking 10 minutes to my cousins house (after I moved into my one bedroom apartment), for dinner. Because:
- I could
- I have keys
- It’s family
It kept me grounded. It kept me sane. And I knew I would miss it immensely when I left.
I do.
I’m smarter than to take that for granted — so I didn’t. And it made me a better person because a space where you feel safe and accepted — your chosen family — just hits different.
#2: I love winter now !!??
I genuinely WANT to feel that -10 air on my face. Am I insane? I must have gone insane.
I’m seeing y’all instagram posts of the cold weather and the crunchy white snow. Why am I jealous?!
Make it make sense. Is that how place attachment works? I’m ACTUALLY pining for the country’s coldest winter? Broooo.
I want to go skating, and walk in the cold ravine, and hear the crisp crackle pop under my feet. And I want to bond by complaining about it together. It makes us feel badass or something?
I was a weak Torontonian before. I am changed. I understand cold dry winter. I get it. I respect it. I respect myself for handling it, and I wear my badge of honour proudly.
#3: I’m an artist. Fully.
I left Toronto a wanna-be-artist. Edmonton made me one.
Beside my name I can now write choreographer, company director, director, producer, writing coach, poet, leader. Etc. I love all these words; I love them next to my name.
I deserve it. I worked hard. I built a community and I created choreography in spades. In 2022 alone, I choreographed 42 pieces for my beginner and intermediate heels classes.
I’m proud of what I did — and grateful to everyone who took a chance on me as a creative. I created golden: the company in Edmonton.
Maybe I would have done that in Toronto, too. But since I’ll never know, I credit the northern town and the spaciousness it gave me to create. I am a better person for it. I’m forever indebted to Edmonton if not for this reason alone.
#4: I learned how kind Prairie People are
No, but see, this is huge.
I was, stereotypically, inside a Toronto bubble before moving out West. It’s a funny joke (with myself, no one else thinks it's funny), that I still have NEVER been to Saskatchewan, though.
I didn’t expect every car to stop to let me cross the street, nor to meet the most genuinely kind people, in a place like Alberta. (Since there are a *variety* of people in that province, if you feel).
I didn’t expect to have lovely conversations in each and every store, on the street, around the dinner table, etc. I dated someone from Regina and met their entire family, and once again was struck by their soft, genuine, kind-heartedness.
Not to mention the generous humans I met at The Next Act, Fringe Theatre, Grindstone, Boulders, Underdog Comedy, Fruitloop — name any central Edmonton staple and the best people are running it. Their hearts are good, and you feel it.
I like my edge, but Edmonton taught me to be softer. And that’s a good thing.
#5: I’m a better Canadian
My 5 years in Edmonton was a pivotal time in my life. The first 5 years of my 30s.
I feel more well-rounded as a Canadian. I understand this country and who lives in it more than ever before. I had a cynical, negative perception of Alberta before living there. I’ll admit it.
As an environmental studies student — wouldn’t you see why?
I’ll also admit that I arrived more judgemental than I grew to be. Because now I see a side of the country’s experience I never understood before. I grew up in a populous place in the country. I’m used to people around all the time, and being an hour’s drive from another city. I’ve met so many more people from small towns — from part’s of the country I’d never even heard of.
When I moved to Edmonton I thought, “everyone should love Toronto and want to live there and you’re crazy if you don’t”.
I learned you are just fine — and just happy, in fact, with what you have.
I moved with a goddamn chip on my shoulder on my “Toronto is better than this” high horse. My energy was off-putting and I know I pissed some folks off. That’s fine, I was d u m b.
Good news — I’m less dumb now! I get it! You opened my eyes.
You did.
I’d like to teleport and walk across the High Level Bridge and see the ice chunks forming. I’d like to see the snow resting on all the tree tops. Hell, I’d like to go to Deep Freeze Festival in -40 with my best friend Jay (haha — just kidding, I absolutely don’t want to do that).
In my mind, I’ll take the endless wooden steps down into the River Valley and get lost for a while. In my proper winter shoes. With my Kirkland Signature on.
I’ll run into friends on Whyte Ave, and drink coffee at Sorellina (RIP!), see Annie at Wellness on Whyte, and hike it over to Sugar Swing to make up choreography for the week, or maybe just freestyle.
That’s what happens with time, in a place.
You find a routine that works for you. You make one. You make your home.
I’m lucky I made so many things. I became so many new things.
And I’m a better person for it.
